07.08.05

I was reading an article about Naomi Watts in some Glamour magazine (which, along with Marie Claire, I recently canceled my subscription to, because, who I am kidding, I will never be single, ridiculously rich, and living in New York City) and was somewhat enjoying the article, because she just seems like a laid-back chick to me and I�ve really enjoyed her movies, when I suddenly came across a line that made me instantly kind of hate her with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.

She was talking about how hard it was to break into the business and how rough she had it in the early years of her career. She talks about having to �crash on pal Nicole Kidman�s couch� (hate that word, �pal,� Glamour. We do not think of our friends as �pals.� Ugh.)--which, first of all, boo-hoo; it must be really rough to have to �crash� on the �couch� (i.e. completely furnished guest house) of Nicole Kidman--when she says the hated line:

Speaking of that time in her life, she says, �Shopping at Banana Republic was a big deal for me.�

...And that�s where I decided that Naomi Watts could take her �Banana Republic was a big deal-how-cute-is-that� self and take a flying leap into oncoming traffic.

Because, you know what, Naomi? For 97.2% of the female population in the United States, shopping at Banana Republic is STILL a big frigging deal, okay? For SOME OF US, spending an afternoon at Target and being able to come home guilt-free with that sports bra and strappy sandals is a REALLY big deal.

Gah. Most of us CAN�T EVEN SHOP at Banana Republic EVEN IF WE WANTED TO because forgive us if we haven�t been subsisting solely off of Starbucks non-fat lattes and can�t fit our �fat� asses into a size four silk skirt.

I can just picture her sitting around with her rich-bitch Hollywood friends and talking about her cousin who still has to shop at Banana Republic and �how droll, remember when we had to buy (gasp) off the rack??.�

And my hate not only exists for Naomi, but for the brown-nosing kiss-up of an author who wrote the article. Who are you, Rachel Zalis? And how long have you been out of touch with your audience, us the women of America? Do you realize that only a small fraction of your readers have ever even seen a genuine Prada or Jimmy Choo? This line that you wrote in your article: �Watts can officially say she�s made it. (Though of course that would be bragging�which she doesn�t do. Love her!)�, made me want to vomit on my inexpensive Payless shoes. �Love her!�?? Bleh.

I�m tired. I�m tired of the magazines, and tabloid news shows, and all of the HYPE in our society that revolves around Hollywood. I�m tired of everyone just assuming that we care. I�m tired of the sad truth that is most of us really do on some level. Because it�s one thing when we are interested in the stars and their lives as a sort of strange alternative-universe/bizzaro-world can�t-look-away type thing, but when mainstream media just assumes that we automatically ASPIRE to that lifestyle, then they (who unfortunately have way more power over society than they should) are propagating a stigma of shame when we don�t even come close.

So I say to Naomi Watts and all of the elitist snobs in the media that are making us feel inadequate: the next time you feel like laughing over the �hard times� when you could �only� afford a $150 off-the-rack dress, you can kiss my size-fourteen Banana Republic-loving ass.

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