03.01.05
So I am now 36 weeks pregnant. That means that my due date is in 4 weeks. But what it also means, is that theoretically, I could have this baby tomorrow. I can�t quite take that thought, so let�s just focus on the four weeks.
Four weeks. I am officially starting to freak out. In four weeks I am going to be a �Mother.� I don�t know why the thought of becoming a Mother rather than just the thought of �having a baby� seems so much more for me to take in, but it is. I�m going to be a Mom. Mom. Mother. Mommy. That�s me. Whoa. I seriously need to spend some time trying to wrap my brain around that one. Being the introspective nut that I am, I rarely let a major change occur in my life without first looking at it from EVERY angle and then figuring out EXACTLY how I feel about it. Maybe I should just relax and let life happen, but I want to extract every bit of living from every moment of my brief existence on this planet. If that adds a little to my stress level, then so be it.
< interruption> Have I mentioned that I have the sweetest husband in the universe? I do. I had to go into work on Sunday (Gah. Don�t ask. All I have to say about that is 2 weeks, 4 days.) and when I got home, my sweet husband had assembled the glider we just bought, done the dishes, AND fixed the mirror that hangs in the hallway that had fallen down because the stupid cat keeps trying to attack the cat in the mirror by running at it at full-speed and putting the smack-down on the glass. The mirror finally decided to fight back. Anyway, what a sweetheart of a husband. < /interruption>
The past few weeks have been SUPER busy at work. For the love, people. Are you TRYING to make sure I don�t want to come back? Sigh. In between, I�ve been trying to get the house ready for the baby. I finally had my baby shower (yay!). I was waiting to see what I got to do the major shopping for the baby. My mom came out for the weekend. My sister was going to come, but she couldn�t get a stand-by flight out (my mom works for an airline company and all her children--even me--get to fly for free. Sweet, I know, but Mom, why couldn�t you have gotten this job before I got all knocked up?). So it was just my mom. But it was really nice having her out here. She just cracks me up. I am always amazed that our relationship is as good as it is considering how bad it was when I was in my teens. Tenuous at times, but pretty good.
Of course, at the shower I got so caught up that I completely forgot my camera and no one else had one. I had J bring it by toward the end, the presents were opened and the food and cake was mostly gone. (But, mmmm, good cake. Cold leftover chocolate cake is officially my favorite breakfast.) I might take a few pictures of my favorite things and post them later. We got a lot of clothes, but I did get my bouncer, carseat, and diaper bin. I used a gift certificate we got and traded in the carseat to upgrade to a travel system, so now we have our stroller and carseat. Plus my mom bought us a new Pack n' Play which we will probably use for a crib the first few months (my dad is coming out after the baby is born and is buying us a full-sized crib then).
This past Saturday we went to an all-day Childbirth Prep class at the hospital. I was wondering if it would be a waste of money, but we both really enjoyed it. I think J especially appreciated it because he basically knew nothing about the birthing process before. Plus, I learned all about how the system is set up at our hospital of choice and it made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. The hospital is set up more like a Birthing Center; much more homey and intimate. There are only 7 beds available in maternity at a time (3 private, 4 shared), but the volume is usually pretty low so the chances of my getting a private room are high. But if it is a busy time when I go into labor and the Center is full, we may have to be sent to the local county hospital right by our house. So hopefully the baby will pick a less popular time to come out (hmm, when is the next full moon?).
It was interesting to see the other moms that were there (who were all first-timers and about as far along as me) and see how different each of their pregnant bellies looked. I didn�t know it, but I am carrying Mason exactly like I swallowed a basketball; very round and compact and right out in front. Some of the other moms (mostly having girls) were really spread out.
Here�s me at 35 weeks (next to the 30 week pic for comparison).
I�ve gained quite a bit of weight (about 38 pounds) but I don�t feel as big as that number sounds. The only comment my doctor has made about my weight was really strange, actually. He looked at my weight on the chart and said, �Your weight gain is a little on the high side, but I�m not concerned about it. My only worry is how you�ll feel about it after the baby is born.� Um. Ooookay. So basically, �don�t come crying to me about feeling fat after the baby is born.� Right. Got it.
Of course, at the class, they showed a bunch of birth videos. Most of the women in them had some form of pain medication (mostly epidurals) but there was this one woman who was going completely natural. It was pretty awful to watch, actually. She was moaning like she was getting killed and her face was contorted in pain the entire time. Uh, no thanks. Even J turned to me at one point and asked, �So�you�re going to get an epidural, right?� Ha.
So yes, I am still freaked out about the birth (and the thought of pushing something�someone�the size of a small watermelon through my vagina) but I have confidence in the hospital and my own abilities. I mean, millions of women have been doing this for thousands of years. I can handle it. Even without an epidural (but Thank God for epidurals anyway).