02.04.05

Warning: This story is gross.

But possibly funny. You weigh the options.

So ever since I�ve moved into the third trimester, my gag reflex, which is usually �none,� has been extra sensitive. And I�ve also apparently lost the ability to swallow liquids like a normal human being because I swallow water down the wrong pipe like 3 times a day. Then I have a coughing fit, which makes me pee my pants--just a little bit (sneezing produces this same outcome as well). Fun times.

So just the other day I was driving to work and eating breakfast at the same time. Shut up. I�m a Gemini, I can do things like that. Anyway it was like a breakfast bagel so it only required one hand. I also had a banana to eat (in a valiant effort to not have a child whose first words are �happy meal�), which I ate after the bagel. Then I washed it, and a Claritin pill (I had stopped taking those, but a few days later my Rash from Hell started coming back, so�), all down with some water from my water bottle. While I was getting on the 605 freeway onramp.

This is about where things went seriously awry.

Because not only was I drinking WATER, which I have already mentioned is a problem area, but I was doing while accelerating to 65 mph. OF COURSE I start choking a bit. At first I thought it was manageable: swallow remaining water in mouth without spitting it back into bottle, check; clear throat to check breathing ability, check. Then for some unknown reason, my body decided that the expulsion of the just-eaten banana was REQUIRED to save my LIFE.

Commence projectile vomiting of banana and water while attempting to safely pull off the freeway at the same time.

The few good things were that 1) the content expelled seemed to be mostly water and just a little banana, 2) I tried to aim into the cup holder to avoid getting it into the seats and such, and 3) I had a couple of gym towels in the back that cleaned things right up. But my car still smells vaguely of banana.

Ew. So sorry for that. I did warn you.

Pregnancy is FUN!

:::

In other news, because I am more Type A than I would like to admit, I have been helping out with the plans for my baby shower on Feb. 19th. There are two people planning the shower: my best friend from forever (we�ll call her Rachael, because that�s her middle name and also she is hot like Jennifer Anniston), and a woman that I am friends with from my church. Anyway, I am printing up the invites just because I have the software and such, so when I had Rachael find out how many people from church the other woman was inviting, she emailed her back and said about 70. �SEVENTY. Um, that�s like half the amount I invited to my WEDDING. I guess since I help out a lot at church activities and work with the youth, she is figuring that I know in one way or another all the women in the congregation. And when my friend asked her about the number, she said that she didn�t want anyone�s feelings to be hurt by not being invited.

SEVENTY.

Fortunately, when Rachael and I got a hold of the list, we were able to take out the names of women that I had ABSOLUTELY no idea who they were. We got it down to about 40. Still. FORTY. Insane. We�ll have to see how many RSVP.

And Rach, I PROMISE that I�m not going to help plan one more thing. Promise. Except that with so many people, you may want to put the food out on the patio. But that�s it. Not one more suggestion. Unless you might be wondering if you will need some extra chairs. Then I might happen to know where you can get some. Sorry, sorry. I�m done.

Really.

Um, but, fruit trays? Bananas might not be such a good idea.

Done.

before ~ after