01.05.05

Happy New Year!

Got this survey from Jessie, who I adore, by the way.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Get pregnant, and experience all the strange new things that go with that.

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn�t really have specific resolutions. I had a couple �self-improvement� type things that I haven�t been as good at keeping up with as I would have liked. Those will probably carry over into next year.

This year, with the birth of the baby, I have no idea what new challenges that will bring or exactly how I will address them, so I�m not about to stress myself out with high expectations. I want a happy, healthy baby and will do whatever it is that helps me accomplish that.

I do, of course, want to get back into an exercise routine as soon as I can after the birth and hopefully be at least back to my pre-baby weight by the end of the year, but once again, no stress.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My Pregnant Cousin had her beautiful baby girl. Seriously, she is gorgeous. I would post a picture but don�t want to get in trouble with the Mama.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My uncle, Pregnant Cousin�s father passed away a week after she gave birth in November. It was (and still is) so unbelievably sad for our family.
He started with colon cancer and I can�t help but think that if he had only had a colonoscopy at his yearly checkups, he might have caught it even earlier. But then again, who runs a gamut of tests at a checkup? Doctor�s think you are a freaky hypochondriac if you ask for that kind of stuff. You can�t check for everything.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A million dollars? Just kidding (but not really). This baby, of course!

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don�t know that there are any �dates� this year that will be "etched." I will remember some trips that we took, and my uncle�s funeral. Also all the little pregnancy moments like the first time I felt him kick.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Can you really call getting knocked up an achievement? Hmm.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I can�t really think of a �failure� for this past year. I guess just failing in the level of personal growth that I wanted to achieve. I have high hopes for this next year, though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
See previous post. Other than the pregnancy rash, I�ve only had the usual aches and pains of pregnancy. I didn�t eve have morning sickness too badly.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The cat.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My dad, for being incredibly cool to my little sister when she needed it most (long story), and my husband, for putting up with my hormone-induced crazies and for doing the dishes just when I needed it most (trust me, it was an intense moment between rational functioning and complete meltdown).

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Well, obviously all terrorists/bombers/etc., especially those who knowingly hurt and killed innocent children (The Russian school situation. SCHOOL, people. ON PURPOSE.). And after saying that, I can�t very well put Paris Hilton in this paragraph, now can I?

14. Where did most of your money go?
Maternity clothes, car repairs, and airplane tickets.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Reality television. (Not really, but I do get way more excited about new shows than I should.)

I get really excited about the baby, when I stop and really think about it. Sometimes I think I�m not excited as I should be, though. I guess it�s all just such a foreign concept to me still (actually having a baby of my own) that I can�t quite grasp it enough to really get into it. Plus, I haven�t started shopping and getting ready for it yet (waiting until after the showers). Maybe when I do, I�ll start getting more giddily-excited. Now I just feel a tad anxious about the whole thing.

I was, of course, ridiculously excited when I was taking the actual pregnancy test and waiting for the results. THAT was a wonderfully exciting and happy moment.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Hoobastank�s The Reason. I just really got into that song when it first came out (before it got played to death on the radio).

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? Happier.
b) Thinner or fatter? Ha. Hahahaha.
c) Richer or poorer? Richer in non-monetary areas, but definitely poorer when it comes to finances.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling, exercising, and reading. And yoga--you can never do enough.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating and watching TV. And feeling anxious for nothing.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
We spent the actual day of Christmas up in Idaho with J�s family. (Then New Year�s at my mom�s.)

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
With my husband, again and again. (That sounds so cheesy, but it�s true. Of course, that also means that there were times when I didn�t particularly feel in love with him either. And I know most of you out there know what I mean.)

22. How many one-night stands?
None. Ever.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
CSI, Survivor, The Amazing Race, documentaries on the History channel.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don�t �hate� anyone. Oh, except for this total bitch of a woman in a little red sportscar that blatantly cut me off (and about 50 other cars behind me) in the line for the parking lot at Disneyland. I actually looked for her car once we got in. Probably the only time in my life when I would have seriously started an all-out fight with another woman. No question. Gah. Still seething.

25. What was the best book you read?
I enjoyed Cold Mountain and, because I am a huge nerd, I really liked this historical novel that my mom gave me called In Harm's Way: The Sinking of the USS Indianapolis and the Extraordinary Story of Its Survivors. It was an amazingly tragic story, but in a good way, I suppose.

I finally got The Wings of the Dove by Henry James off my reading list, but was disappointed to find that I didn�t enjoy it as much as I wanted to. I am a huge Henry James fan, but this one just didn�t speak to me as much as some of his other novels. I�m planning on seeing if the film version is any good.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I started singing again (with the church choir and at a few weddings and such) and realized how much I had missed it.

27. What did you want and get?
I wanted a kitten and we got one. Aw.

28. What did you want and not get?
A million things. Aren�t there always? I guess TiVo would have to be at the top of that list. Soon my pretty. Soon.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Endless Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, hands down. LOVED that movie.

I also liked Garden State. It made me love Zach Braff. And life. And it made me remember how f�ed up we all are and how the poignant beauty of pain can make us feel alive and bring us together better than anything else if we�re just brave enough to face it.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Sigh. My birthday. The trouble with my birthday is that my husband�s birthday is precisely the day before mine. So we celebrated �both� on HIS birthday and then he had clinic on mine. My friends did a good job of making up for that, but in the future, we are going to have to switch off the �big� celebrating from his birthday to mine to avoid disgruntled wife syndrome.

Another completely shallow and selfish reason that sucks (hey, I�m being honest) is that parents/mutual friends/children will be hit with two birthday presents at the same time so we�ll both probably get less than we would have normally.

(Not that I�m even remotely bitter or anything. But it is funny how being only 24 hours apart in age goes from being �Hey, you�re only 24 hours older than me! That is so cool!� to �Yeah. This whole �birthdays right next to each other�? Not so much with the coolness.�)

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Did I already mention the �million dollars� thing?

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Um, I guess my whole personal �concept� was to find enough stretchy material to cover my ever-expanding ASS. Oh, and pregnant belly.

33. What kept you sane?
My mom and I had this discussion just the other day. (She, like me, likes to live juuust on that edge between completely insane and close-to-the-breaking-point-but-hiding-it-well.) Just as we were discussing about how we find ourselves fighting that hollow is-this-really-all-there-is feeling, her adorable cat came into the room and flopped gratuitously on the floor in front of her.

And she says, �There. That right there is my current pocket of happiness and sanity saver.�

I would have to agree. My cat, my website/creative outlets, my family. That and the fact that my husband is such an annoyingly constant optimist that I figure things can�t POSSIBLY be that bad if he can be so damn happy all the time. I mean, REALLY.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hmm. Now �fancy� is entirely different than what first came to mind, which was �admire.� If all we�re talking about is �fancying,� then I would have to say Michael Vartan. Mmm.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obviously the election. And various crap that goes with that.

36. Who did you miss?
My grandmother, my mother�s mother.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
One of my new coworkers turned out to be someone I would actually love to spend time with outside of the office.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
That I will never be all who I would like to be, and life will never be all that I would like it to be, and that I really am going to be okay with that.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

You won't ever be happier
Until you find that special place where you belong
And you won't ever be happier
Until you find that only way
Until you find the only way back home

You don't ever understand
It's right here in our hands
The outline of our lives�
--Neve � It�s Over Now

before ~ after