08.19.04

Do you want the BEST Cold Stone Creamery recipe of all time? Here it is: � chocolate, � cake batter, caramel and oreos. MMMMM. It is like multiple orgasms just after losing 10 pounds AND winning the lottery. It is THAT good, people.

:::

So drama on the family front.

My mom is for sure going ahead with divorce #5. And it looks like it�s gonna get ugly. Sigh.

I can�t tell you how much I hate to see her suffering because of the same mistakes over and over again. At least this time she was mature about it and didn�t cause a fuss in the beginning. She just calmly told him that it was a mistake and that she doesn�t have the same feelings for him as he does and that she wanted out. She didn�t want anything, just to leave and get on with her life. But he got his ego bruised and got mad and then he got a lawyer. A mean one. So now my mom has people calling trying to illegally get copies of her private phone records so her soon-to-be ex can prove that she has been having a torrid affair the entire time they were married. Which kind of ticked her off due to the fact that SHE HASN�T and he knows it.

News Flash: You don�t want to get on my mom�s hit list. Trust me. You just don�t.

So now all hell is breaking loose. She�s got a lawyer too and the dirt is going to start flying. You�d better duck.

I cannot wait for the day when I can just not be in a state of constant worry about my mother. I can�t really imagine what that would be like, though. And I have a sneaking suspicion that it won�t be any time soon.

But, hey, she loves me--and at least she makes life interesting, right?

:::

I got roped in last night to one of those neighborhood �scrapbooking parties� (like a Tupperware party but with, you guessed it, scrapbook stuff).

Anyway, I ended up walking out of there with $60 worth of stuff that is just going to join the rest of the bags of scrapbooking stuff that I have at home at the top of my closet where I pull it out every now and then to get to something else and feel guilty about not even starting on the Wedding/Honeymoon albums that I was going to have done by now. Not to mention the awesome Baby Album that I will soon buy and throw up there to get to around the time the little peanut is cutting his/her first tooth.

But--an Automatic Corner-Rounder! And a Multi-Shape Photo Matting System! Do you see why I was helpless to resist?!

The thing is, there is a small part of me that really wants to be that incredibly crafty-type person, but�I�m not. The problem is that I am the �deluded crafty� type. I see an episode of Martha Stewart and then next thing you know I�m going to single-handedly construct a greenhouse out of recycled glass and a soldering gun. I love crafty STUFF. I could spend hours in any given Micheal�s store. Because, you know, someday I am going to hand-decorate all my own cakes (and even do some weddings on the side), AND put together one of those cool doll-houses that look totally real even down to the working lights. And mine will have running water. And a tiiiny little topiary garden.

Oh, yes. I will have the Most. Awesome. Baby. Album. Ever. And I have $60 worth of crap to prove it.

:::

I�m over the paranoia of the last entry. Still pregnant, still feeling gross. Hormones must be making me crazy. And I know they are because the other day on my way home from work the song �Cat�s In the Cradle� came on and I seriously started to TEAR UP by the end of the song. Because it�s so sad, you know, because the dad and the son never got to know each other and all that�what is WRONG with me??

And don't even get me started on Olympics' medal ceremonies.

Sheesh. Hormones.

before ~ after